Same+But+Never+Quite+The+Same

Different Than Us? By Brooke Farber Workshop: Chapter 11

When we enter college, we are surrounded by many new people including students and faculty. From this diverse group, we begin to establish new friendships and relationships. How many of your friends have the same skin color as you? Do your friends observe different religious holidays and attend different houses of worship? Generally, during our lifetime we tend to gravitate to others that are “similar” to us and our beliefs. How often do we deviate from this comfort zone and socialize with those who are, “different than us?” Through introspection we can truly evaluate whether we enjoy any cross boundary relationships in our lives. These are relationships that often require additional clarification or justification for external acceptance. Throughout my workshop we will discuss the affects of race, ethnicity, and other diverse social groups and how they relate to the development of relationships. We will examine those relationships that appear to cross boundaries and the motives behind them. Exploration of cultural differences will rely upon the research and observations documented on this topic by Letty Cottin Pogrebin. We will discuss the various barriers that may hinder new relationships and how they can be overcome. New friendships often require a shift in attitude and an openness to understand others of different color, culture, language, sexual preference, restrictive or nonrestrictive disability, and age. As society becomes more diverse there is a greater opportunity that we will meet people that may not share our background or experiences. These barriers may place restrictions upon our relationships in specific situations as discussed in “Same But Never Quite the Same.” These barriers are often accepted in cross friendships with almost a silent understanding that differences do exist. Strong relationships can surpass barriers, which establish unnecessary stressful restrictions. During this workshop we will also discuss unconscious racism and other prejudices that occur in our daily lives. The realization and acceptance of differences help to nourish new relationships and avoid conflict. Additionally we will investigate the unique obstacles that may arise in cross friendships and methods of resolution. It is important to review the existence of barriers which often prevent people from establishing new friendships due to the challenge of crossing “lines and feared consequences. This essay was truly surprising as many of the issues that the author pointed out as boundaries were not obvious. Often people enjoy spending time with others who are “the same” due to the similarities in their cultural and life experiences. Therefore this workshop will encourage our group to reflect upon our own relationships. It will be of great interest to see which of our own relationships were easier to cross and which appeared more prohibitive. As we examine our own cross boundary relationships we will understand and appreciate the knowledge and experience that the relationship provided. The goal of this workshop is to provide a better understanding of cultural differences in relationships along with their associated boundaries. Workshop attendees will have an appreciation that we can simultaneously feel the same and different as Letty Cottin Pogrebin eloquently suggested and “embrace differences and be enriched by them.”