The+Importance+and+Expediency+of+Empathic+Listening

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Empathic listening is a type of listening that can be achieved by putting aside one's tendency to respond personally. Instead of listening to another's problems and offering advice, empathic listening entails responding impersonally while still showing understanding. This is a difficult concept for some to grasp, but it is essential to positive communication in daily life. In fact, I would go as far to say that many problems in day-to-day life could be avoided or at least lessened if some people would employ empathic listening skills.

An example of empathic listening would be listening to a younger brother or sister vent after school about a conflict they have with another classmate. A lot of times when venting, your sibling does not want advice for "what you would do." In fact, responding like this could be detrimental to the conversation, and invoke a negative response, especially if the teen is in the "nobody understands me!!!!" phase of their development. To them, offering a solution would seem like to them you are simplifying their problem by suggesting that a simple solution could fix this problem, while in their mind the problem is much more complex. When they approach you with their problems, they usually aren't looking for a magic answer that will fix all of their problems, they just want someone to talk to that they know will listen to them without judging them.

Carl Rogers, who has been a pioneer in the field of empathic listening, has described it as "entering the private perceptual world of the other and becoming thoroughly at home with it. It involves being sensitive, moment by moment, to the changing felt meanings which flow in this other person...To be with another in this way means that for the time being, you lay aside your own views and values in order to enter another's world without prejudice. In some sense it means that you lay aside yourself" (Stewart et al. 227).

However, knowing the above and applying it are two different things. Empathic listening goes far beyond how one responds verbally. Having control of one's verbal actions is only the first step to empathic listening. Verbally showing interest without interrupting will have no effect if there is non-verbal communication of boredom. If nonverbally the listener communicates that he or she frequently has something to say but is holding back, the speaker will feel as if the listener is more concerned with responding than listening. Nonverbal cues such as looking at one's watch, rolling of the eyes (in most situations) and sighing will instantly ruin any chance of having a positive experience.



It needs to be stressed that there is no easy solution or "5 Easy Steps" for how empathic listening should be used. It varies on a situational basis. My workshop on Monday February 23rd will hopefully help you to discover ways that you can use empathic listening to benefit your own life.