Our+Friends,+Ourselves

media type="custom" key="3444466" March 11, 2009- Our Friends, Ourselves by Steve Duck We are all very different people in our own ways but one thing that we all have in common is that we all have friends. Since we are all in college, I’m sure we have all had our ups and downs with friendships and we’ve all gone through the process of making and keeping friendships. Steve Duck uses the term “relationshipping” to describe what people do to prolong relationships and friendships. He says, “Relationships do not just happen; they have to be made- made to start, made to work, made to develop, kept in good working order and preserved from going sour” (314). In my workshop, I will discuss these skills that a person must have, general features people expect their friends to have, and rules that help guide a friendship along. I will also answer in depth the question of why we need friends. It seems like it would be a relatively easy question to answer, but there are many, many possible answers. They give us a sense of belonging which is a natural human instinct. They help us establish our opinions and beliefs and they keep us emotionally stable, especially in times of stress. We will talk about the phenomenon of friends’ private languages and jokes and how they are actually very important. I will discuss how lonely people have a need to communicate and the void in their life because they cannot compare their feelings and reactions with other people.

I’m sure many of you have been in the situation where you were on a train, bus or plane and someone who you don’t know starts to talk to you and it seems like they are telling you their life story. We’ll discuss who these types of people are and why they do what they do. I’m also sure that sometime in your life you’ve either given a birthday gift to a friend or a friend has given one to you. The importance of gift giving may be greater than you think.

Elderly people also have a need to repay and give back and it can become very frustrating for them when they are physically unable. That is why it is very important to allow elderly people to do as much as they can for themselves so they do not have a feeling of helplessness.

Lastly, we will talk about losing friendships and the toll it takes on a person both mentally and physically and it may be surprising just how serious it can be. Duck says that it “not only makes us die a little inside, it leaves floating in the air those bits of personality that the person used to support” (323). I will share my own experiences about this and I hope that some of you open up and share with the rest of us your experiences.

I look forward to my workshop on March 11th so we can discuss together friendship and what it really means to all of us. I have gathered a few clips to give examples of the conce pts they give in the book. I hope to have lots of class participation so come prepared